Ask HwoarLili
by mirrors of illusion
Summary: It's the Mishima Radio starring...Hwoarang and Lili! Ask questions and they WILL answer! There will be other characters on this broadcast. Rated T for some swearing.
1. Chapter 1

**Ask HwoaLili**

**Summary: **So here's the thing, Hwoarang and Lili got their own radio station in Japan. Japan's job is to ask random questions about random things. Will the broadcast be a success? Or will it fail big-time? The problem is that they don't like each other. Let's just pray that they'll get along somehow. Their main sponsor is the Mishima Zaibatsu. And if they aren't successful, they are gonna owe a lot of money to the Mishima Zaibatsu.

**(A/N): I noticed that there were tons of fanfiction like this one. But too bad, I'm making another one. Muahahah! FEAR MY WRITING! Ok, I'll stop. Your Job! Ask Hwoarang and Lili questions. THERE WILL BE OTHER CHARACTERS IN THE SHOW. EACH WILL APPEAR IN EACH CHAPTER. So ask. Anything that will lighten up the show! Make them as interesting as possible! And if you do, I'll be sure to post them on the show! If not, think of the money they're gonna owe.**

**_Disclaimer: (Hysterical laughter) (chokes on a grain of rice) (calm down) (giggles) (evil laugh) (calms down) (hold breath) (turns blue) …no. _**

"Testing five, six, seven. Anything?" Lili faced Julia. Julia shook her head.

"Testing one, two, three…this is Emily Rochefort on the Mishima Radio," Lili tapped on the microphone.

"Nope."

"DAMN IT!" Lili started beating the crap out of the equipment. She looked as if she was enjoying herself, too.

"Wait a minute," Julia said, "I hear something." She adjusted the volume and checks the signal.

"GRAAHH!!"

"Hey! Are you trying to kill that thing?!" Hwoarang comes in from the hallway.

"I don't know! Am I supposed to?!" Lili yelled as she continues to beat the living (like there is one) out of the equipment.

"Move!" Hwoarang shoves Lili out of the way and started jabbing that thing like an idiot.

"What the?! That's exactly what I was doing!"

"You're too weak little girl. You need to attack it with force."

"What did you call me?! And I was attacking it with force!"

"You heard every word."

"You'll get it!!!"

"Guys!" Julia called, "I think its working!" She turned to see them fighting and practically ignoring her. She shook her head.

Lili did her "Devotion's Kiss" and Hwoarang attempted to counter with his "Falcon Dive Kick."

"You don't deserve to live!!!!!" Lili screamed. She slammed him before he finished Falcon Dive which caused Hwoarang to fall on the microphone button thingy. He flipped it on.

"YOU BITCHY MAGGOT!!!" Hwoarang screamed and he tackled her. They both fell…with Hwoarang on top. They stared at each other for a moment…

"You two!" someone called. Kazuya came in and saw Lili and Hwoarang. He looks at them awkwardly and decides to ignore it.

"Stop goofing off! That smart woman said the goddamned thing is working so it's working!!!" He glances at the microphone. "Look! You have been on broadcast the entire time!!!"

"GET SERIOUS!!!!!" Kazuya prepares his Axe Kick.

_**Out there…**_

"What happened?" Miharu asked Xiaoyu.

"Shhh!" Xiaoyu replied, "I'm trying to listen!" Sounds of screaming, kicking, and fighting were the only noise that they could hear.

"_Urahhh!"_

"_Lili! That move isn't gonna work!"_

"_Shut up!! Hyahhh!!!"_

"_Ow..."_

"_For crying out loud, knock it off!"_

"_Knock what off, Kaz?" (Jun comes in)_

"_Junnibuns, they won't kn— AHHH!"_

"_I thought I told you to not call me that."_

"_Sorry, Jun-kun… HHrrrkkk!"_

"_I'm not a GUY!!! Baka (idiot)…" crash._

"Wow!" Xiaoyu exclaimed, "This is so awesome!!! They barely started the broadcast and there's already fighting?! It's like a dream come true!"

"What dream?"

"The one that I'm not gonna tell you about."

"Aww… Well! I'm gonna make a first call!" Xiaoyu hands Miharu the radio's business card and she dials the number.

**I noticed that there were a lot of things that didn't make sense, but then again. I'll say this again. In your reviews, ask random questions about Tekken. About Hwoarang and Lili, other characters, anything. Ask interesting questions that will spice up the show a little. I'll try to make sure that it gets asked. Next chapter, they will have a very special guest, our very own Jinny!!!(Jin) Please Review and ask questions.**


	2. The First Day of Broadcast

**Ask Hwoarang Lili**

**Thank you all for reviewing and asking.**

**This is the second minute of them on the air and its and its not going as well as they wanted…**

**Disclaimer: Seems the time has not come…yet.**

_In the station…_

**Hwoarang:** You're not getting away from that!!! (does his high kick thingy)

**Lili:** Oh please, (dodges high kick) get a life! (grabs his leg, and swing him into the door) _ouch_

**Jun:** (standing next to them) shouldn't we stop them?

**Kazuya:** …no. (shrugs)

And they continue watching them duke it out. Hwoarang tackles Lili into the ground. He punches her once and punches her again. Lili grabs his leg and swung him into a wooden door...again.

_The door swings open, slamming Hwoarang into the wall, revealing Michelle kicking the door open._

**Michelle:** Damn it! Will you two fuckin' shut up?! I'm pulling a prank on Heihachi and you guys are gonna wake him UP!!!"

**Heihachi:** MICHELLE!!!

**Michelle:** Fuck.

_Michelle leaves the room. The door closes and Hwoarang falls down face first._

The phone rings.

**Phone:** RRIIINNNNGGGG…RRRRRIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGGGGG…

Lili and Hwoarang stood there unsure of what to do.

**Kazuya:** Are you gonna get that?

_They lunge towards the phone, Lili trips Hwoarang, Hwoarang pulls Lili's hair, and so on. Lili reaches for the phone, but Kazuya grabs it first._

**Kazuya:** Hello, this is Kazuya of Mishima Radio.

**Mysterious Caller:** Xiaoyu, the bastard picked up the phone.

**Xiaoyu:** Which one?

**MC:** The gay one.

**Xiaoyu:** Lee?

**MC:** Oh wait, no. I mean the creepy bastard.

**Kazuya:** Who're you calling a creepy bastard?

**MC:** You, now shut up.

**Xiaoyu:** Oh. Kazuya?

**MC:** Wait, I forgot your name.

**Kazuya:** Devil Kazuya, if you don't—

**MC:** Kazuya.

**Xiaoyu:** Oh, you can tell him tha—

**Hwoarang:** Give me the phone, you bastard!!

**Lili:** Move it, Whorang. Give me the phone!

**Kazuya:** NO! MINE!

**Jun:** Give me the phone.

**Kazuya:** But—!

**Jun:** NOW.

**Kazuya:** Yes ma'am. (Hands Jun the phone)

**Jun:** Now how do you put this on speaker?

**Julia:** Hold on for a sec...ok, I got it on speaker.

**Jun:** I'm sorry for the inconvenience, Miharu-chan.

**Miharu:** How did you know, it was me?

**Jun:** I'm psychic, remember?

**Miharu:** Oh, yeah.

**Xiaoyu:** Ask them the questions.

**Miharu:** Oh, ok. I have some questions to ask.

**Hwoarang:** And they are…

**Miharu:** This question goes for you both. Do you like anyone?

**Hwoarang:** HELL NO!!!

**Jun:** Jeez, all you had to say is no.

**Xiaoyu:** Aren't you overreacting a little?

**Hwoarang:** NO!!!

**Lili:** Hmph, suit yourself. No, I don't like anyone. I think men are disgusting. Except for one's with large eyebrows. They're soooo dreamy… (Drift off to her own little world…)

**Kazuya:** This woman's weird.

**Hwoarang:** MEN AREN'T DISGUSTING!!! THEY'RE NORMAL HUMANS. JUST LIKE US!"

**Xiaoyu:** Interesting how you said that…

**Hwoarang:** What's that supposed to mean?!

**Xiaoyu:** Nothing.

**Miharu:** Ok, moving on…what are your fears?

**Hwoarang:** Pfft. Me? A man has no fears!!! Muahaha!!!

**Lili:** (snaps back to reality) Oh, really? I heard several rumors about you and some penguin at the zoo.

Hwoarang eyes enlarged at the mention of the aquatic bird's name.

**Hwoarang:** P-PENGUINS?! AAAAAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! (takes a deep breath) AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Hwoarang runs out the door. Michelle opens the door on the other side, hitting poor Hwoarang on the face…which knocks him out of course.

**Michelle:** How many times do I have to tell you people to fuckin' shut up!!!! I'm pulling a prank on Ganryu and you idiots are gonna wake him up! I was already in deep shit when Heihachi woke up!

_Let's see what she means…_

_**Heihachi:** Michelle, what have you done to my face?!_

_**Michelle:** (attempts to jump out the window)_

_**Heihachi:** Oh no, you don't. (Pulls Michelle in the window)_

_**Michelle:** Let me go pervert!_

_**Heihachi:** Never!!! (Pulls Michelle in too hard, causing them to fly across the room)_

_**Heihachi and Michelle:** AAAHHHHH!!!!_

_They land with Michelle on top…in front of Jin…_

_**Jin:** What's the world coming too? (Leaves the awkward scene)_

**Kazuya:** Can the author just stick to the fuckin' story?!

**Mirrors of Illusion: SHUT UP AND JUST DO WHATEVER I'M SUPPOSED TO TYPE!!!**

**Kazuya:** Whatever.

_Back to the story…_

Michelle kicks Hwoarang on the side and leaves the room.

**Lili:** Well, it didn't take long to find HIS fears.

**Miharu:** What about you?

Lili: Hold on, let me think…(thinks)

**Kazuya:** While she's thinking, what happened to the zoo?

**Miharu:** Well…

_Beginning Flashback…Flashback interrupted…_

**Xiaoyu:** Hey, I want to say it!

**Miharu:** Fine.

**Xiaoyu:** Well…

_Resuming Flashback…flashback interrupted. AGAIN!_

**Jun:** Wait! Do you think its okay to do this? Think of his reputation!

**Kazuya:** Dammit, woman! Let the girl talk!

_Resuming Flashback…_

_**Hwoarang:** I can't believe that you people made me come to this godforsaken zoo._

_**Xiaoyu:** Shut up! I won the fight fair and square!_

_**Hwoarang:** You?!! You and Miharu ganged up on me!!_

_**Miharu: **Leave me out of this, ok?_

_**Hwoarang:** Never!_

_**Xiaoyu:** That's too bad isn't it?_

_**Miharu:** OMG! PENGUINS! I LOVE PENGUINS! THEY'RE SOOO CUTE!!! (runs over to the penguin exhibit, penguin crazed)_

_**Xiaoyu:** But, Miharu. Don't the penguins look a bit…weird to you?_

_The penguins of the exhibit were indeed acting in a very strange manner. They had glowing red eyes and appeared to be disturbingly evil._

_**Hwoarang:** (looks at the penguins suspiciously) Let's not waste our time here._

_**Xiaoyu:** He's right, Miharu. Miharu?_

_**Hwoarang:** Xiaoyu, let's leave. (looks at the evil penguins) I have a feeling that the crazy penguins did something creepy by Miharu._

_**Xiaoyu:** But we should look for her! And we will!! And you're helping!_

_**Hwoarang:** But—!_

_**Xiaoyu:** On the count of three, we're diving._

_**Hwoarang:** But—!_

_**Xiaoyu:** Three!_

_Xiaoyu dives into the icy pool to find poor penguin crazed Miharu…Hwoarang however…_

_**Hwoarang:** Like I'm going in. What to do now…_

_**Evil penguin #1:** Squawk squawk (What do we do with the Korean?)_

_**Evil Penguin #2:** Squawk squawk squawk! (We kill him!)_

_**Evil Penguin #3:** Squawk? (What are you doing?)_

_**EP 1:** What are you doing here sister?_

_**EP 3:** Mom told me to tell you to not kill people. She says it's unhealthy._

_**EP 2:** Aaaawwwww…_

_**EP 1:** What are you doing?!_

_**EP 2:** I'll apologize to mom later. Everyone, gather around!_

_**Hwoarang:** Holy…they're flock is larger than our Korean army…I might actually learn something. What are they planning?_

_**EP 2:** My friends, it's time we conquer the world!!!_

_**EP Army:** Cheers_

_**EP 2:** We will kill the red head there (points to Hwoarang with its beak) then we kill the sugar hyper girl underwater. And then we use Miharu as a hostage to take over the world!!!_

_**EP Army:** Cheers_

_**EP 2:** Now, let's face our victim._

_**Hwoarang:** Why are they looking at me…?_

_**EP 2:** CCHHHHAAAARRRGGEE!!!!_

_**EP 1:** Idiot, you're gonna get us grounded again (smacks EP 2)_

_**EP Soldier:** Squawk, squawk…SQUAWK! (Ready, steady, GO!)_

_Hwoarang backs up a step. Suddenly, a herd of penguins started charging at the defenseless man…_

_End of Flashback…_

**Lili:** What? That's it?!

**Miharu:** I was in the bathroom the entire time, so I saved Hwoarang in time. As for Xiaoyu, she got captured and was held hostage. We had to trade her for 5,000 tuna fish.

**Lili:** Why?

**Miharu:** There was no more salmon.

**Lili:** …Continue.

**Miharu:** And they erased our memory, leaving Hwoarang with 'penguin-phobia' and Xiaoyu no candy.

**Lili:** What about you?

**Miharu:** Believe me; you're better off not knowing.

**Lili:** Then how do you know about the whole thing if they erased your memory?

**Miharu and Xiaoyu:** I don't know…

**Jun:** Did you find your fears yet?

**Lili:** (sighs) no.

**Hwoarang:** (recovers from the door) Hey guys, ow my head. It felt like a door banged my head by Michelle…

**Lili:** …

**Jun:** Is that all the questions Miharu?

**Miharu:** Hold on. Xiao! Is that all?!

**Xiaoyu:** Do I get candy?

**Miharu:** I'm gonna hang up now. (slowly hangs up)

**Kazuya:** That was strange…

**Julia:** Hey, we have a caller. He's claiming to be Caligula II.

**Kazuya:** Where have I heard his name?

**Julia:** I'm getting him on the air.

**Caligula II:** Hello, is this Mishima Radio?

**Kazuya:** Yeah, who wants to know?

**Jun:** Don't be mean. What's your question?

**Caligula II:** Before I say it, I was there in the penguin incident.

**Lili:** Really?

**Caligula II:** Yeah it was kinda sad seeing his butt kicked by those evil penguins that coff-Jin-coff-coff programmed.

**Hwoarang:** Who?

_Replaying Flashback..._

_While Hwoarang's getting attacked by the evil penguins, Jin's hided behind the hot dog stand, laughing his sides off._

**Caligula II:** No one. Anyways…my question is for Bryan Fury.

**Lili:** Oh, hold on. He's not here. He went on a murderous rampage in LA.

**Caligula II:** That's okay. I don't want to ask him direct—

**Jun:** Nonsense, I'll get him on the air right now.

**Kazuya:** Wait a second.

**Lili:** Mrs. Kazama! What are you doing?! Don't call him!

**Hwoarang:** Yeah! You know how he is!

**Jun:** Whatever. Julia, get him on the air!

**Kazuya, Lili, Hwoarang:** …O.O

**Bryan:** Yeah?

**Jun:** Hello Mr. Fury, we are on the air at Mishima Radio and—

**Bryan:** Listen, if it's about the weapons I stole from Nina, I can explain. If it's about Kunimitsu's sudden disap—

**Jun:** NO, ITS NONE OF THAT CRAP NOW SHUT UP!!!

**Kazuya, Lili, Hwoarang, Bryan:** …

**Kazuya, Lili, Hwoarang:** (backs up from the microphone)

**Jun:** Now, Caligula II, what was your question?

**Caligula II:** I'm having second thoughts now…

**Jun:** Now.

**Caligula II:** Ok then, I and several other people have noticed that you are…sorta…

**Jun:** He thinks you're psycho.

**Kazuya:** Shoot! Don't say that!!!

**Jun:** And a maniac. And wants to know why.

**Caligula II:** How did you—

**Jun:** Psychic.

**Caligula II:** Oh.

**Hwoarang:** You know, Lili, I thought we were the hosts.

**Lili:** Whatever, I'm gonna play with my PS2, and forget that Bryan's gonna ever stalk me.

**Hwoarang:** He never said that.

**Lili:** …we'll take over the station next chapter,

**Hwoarang:** Do what you want, I'm staying.

**Jun:** Mr. Fury? Are you there?

**Bryan:** After I'm done with LA, you're next.

**Jun:** Whatever, just answer.

**Bryan:** …I'm hanging up now. (dial tone)

**Jun:** Stupid Bryan.

**Caligula II:** I'm sorta relieved and disappointed at the same time.

**Kazuya:** Same here.

**Jun:** Don't worry, we'll call him next chapter.

**Caligula II:** I was afraid of that.

**Jun:** Thank you for joining us today, Caligula-kun.

**Julia:** We have another caller from Ms. M.

**Kazuya:** …put her on air, Jules.

**Julia:** Shut up, Mishima. She's on the air.

**Ms. M:** Hey, is this Mishima?

**Kazuya:** What of it?

**Jun:** Christie? Is that you?

**Christie:** Damn it! How'd you know?

**Jun:** Psychic.

**Christie:** Oh.

**Kazuya:** Question?

**Christie:** This one's for Hwoarang.

**Hwoarang:** Shoot.

**Christie:** Don't you ever get tired of tailing Jin?

**Hwoarang:** …no…

**Christie:** Which leads to another question, why do you follow Jin so much?

**Hwoarang:** You have a problem with that?

**Christie:** Uh…yeah. Because the way you stalk Jin around ever single day…

**Hwoarang:** I do not!

**Lili:** This video says different. (Waves a video tape in the air)

**Kazuya:** Where'd you come from?

**Lili:** I got bored with my PS2 and decided to humiliate Hwoarang.

**Kazuya:** Oh…go ahead!

**Hwoarang:** Whoa, woman. I don't know what the tapes about, but you better not…

**Lili:** Too late. (plays the clip)

_Clip begins…_

_Jin is walking home whistle to the tune of a random Tekken song. _

_**Jin:** I still don't get the point of why Asuka punched me into the wall. I mean, it's not like I fell into her humongous boobs, right?_

_Little does he know Hwoarang is hiding in the hedges, following him._

_**Hwoarang:** Stupid Jin. This is what he gets for stealing my bike. I'm gonna follow him, until I get it back. Even if it means stalking him every single day._

_**Jin:** Huh? Is someone following me?_

_**Hwoarang:** No._

_**Jin:** Oh, ok._

_**Hwoarang:** That was close._

_**Jin:** Hey, wait a second… Xiaoyu?! Are you stalking me again?_

_**Xiaoyu:** No._

_**Jin:** Oh._

_**Hwoarang:** Xiaoyu? Where is she?_

_Little does Hwoarang know that Xiaoyu's sitting next to him._

_**Jin:** Wait, Xiaoyu?! Get out here and—_

_Xiaoyu tackles poor Jin to the ground and hugs him so he cannot move. Hwoarang jumps out of the hedges and tackles them both. He grabs Xiaoyu and threw her out of the way. Then he knocks out Jin with his wrench and drags him down the street._

_**Hwoarang:** I will get back my bike, even if it means stalking you forever or anything involved in that._

Clip ends:

**Hwoarang:** …he stole my bike!

**Lili:** …

**Jun:** …

**Kazuya:** …

**Christie:** …WTF?

**Hwoarang:** Who the hell taped that?

**Lili:** It wasn't me. I just found it in cof-Miharu-cof-cof room.

**Hwoarang:** Who?

**Lili:** No one.

**Christie:** Did you ever find your bike?

**Hwoarang:** No.

**Lili:** Have you ever thought of the possibility that Jin never stole it?

**Hwoarang:** No.

**Christie:** So, if I told you that I know where it is, then would you stalk me until I give it to you?

**Hwoarang:** Most definitely.

**Christie:** I know who has it.

**Hwoarang:** Who?

**Christie:** It was cofbaekcofcof.

**Hwoarang:** What?

**Christie:** No one.

**Hwoarang:** …You better watch out.

**Jun:** Wait, are you actually gonna stalk—

**Kazuya:** He's gone.

**Christie:** Wait, Hwoarang? What are you doing outside my window?

**Lili:** …He'll come back.

**Kazuya:** And that concludes our show, before the stupid author sidetracks us again.

**Mirror of Illusions: I'm trying not to, now shut up bastard!!!**

**Jun:** Shut up you two!!!

**MOI and Kazuya:** Yes ma'am.

**Lili:** I'm sorry folks that's all for today!!!

**Kazuya:** Thank god.

**Lili:** Tomorrow, we will call Bryan again and ask the question that Caligula asked. And also, Heihachi will be visiting tomorrow for who knows what reason. So tune in.

**Jun:** And this is Mishima Radio signing off. NOW!

**Kazuya:** I'm so glad the author stopped writing before this could get any longer.

**MOI: …I hate you. I mean, still, I had to stop at some point.**

**Kazuya:** Whatever, I'm taking a nap. (leaves)

**Jun:** I should make dinner for Jin and Asuka. (leaves)

**Lili:** Jeez. Who knew this was hard work? Oh well. I'm gonna check out the evil penguins at the zoo. (leaves)

**Julia:** …zzzzzzzzzzzzz…..

**And that's the end of that chapter! Special thanx to Caligula II and Demon Bliss for reviewing. I would also like to thank my friends, so on so forth. Some people may have noticed that I got the idea of the Hwoarang stalking Jin clip from Tekken Interviews, so kill me. If you want the update, then send in the goddamn questions people!!!**


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